Good News/Bad News

The bad news is you have a flood.

The good news is the flood is in the basement.

The bad news is it’s a finished basement.

The good news is you have indoor/outdoor carpeting.

The bad news is - so what? It's for indoors and outdoors, not for floods.

The good news is this is not a wading-through-water flood, because you've already done that, and once is enough.

The bad news is this particular flood is soaking through the carpeting.

The good news is it’s staying in the area where the carpeting is, and not going through to the other side of the basement.

The bad news is — yes, it is, as it turns out.

The good news is you have a Shop Vac, which sucks up water as well as dirt.

The bad news is it does a terrible job on wet carpet. Which should have been obvious before you lugged the thing in and hooked it up via a series of extension cords.

The good news is you have a lovely collection of old towels and bathroom rugs for just such an occasion.

The bad news is what were you thinking? Your pathetic collection is no match for this. All you have to show for your efforts are a lot of wet towels and bathroom rugs.

The good news is there is a washer and dryer in the other part of the basement.

The bad news is — do you have any idea how heavy all these soaking wet towels are?!?

The good news is — well, actually there isn't any good news. There is, however, a bright side.

Flooding has a bright side? I’ll bet you can hardly wait to hear.

You know all that stuff you’ve been storing in the basement? No, of course you don't. Nobody does. You know you keep stuff in the basement, because it gazes at you reproachfully every time you go down to do laundry, but it's been there for so long that you have no idea what’s in those piles of stuff, not to mention in all those boxes and crates full of other stuff.

But whatever it is, it is now wet. All of it. The water soaked right up and made a mess of everything. It has to be carted away by the same wonderful people who will come to dry out your basement and restore order.

At which point things begin to look up. When the Wonderful People finish, the basement will be neat and clean. You can stop dreading the prospect of going through everything, only to throw it out. You are officially off the hook.

What you thought was a nightmare is actually a dream come true.

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